Apparently I can us the word retarded to describe a situation that is hindering a person. Well that is only if I can trust Merriam-Webster. Thank you Alan Bass because before I only used this word as slang but now that I am justified I will bring it into my learned speech.

Main Entry: 1re·tard
Pronunciation: ri-'tärd
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French or Latin; Middle French retarder, from Latin retardare, from re- + tardus slow
transitive senses
1 : to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment : IMPEDE
2 : to delay academic progress by failure to promote
intransitive senses : to undergo retardation
synonym see DELAY
- re·tard·er noun

Guess what apparently this is work related because I am at the hire a student office and you are only allowed to use the internet if it is job related. What a ridiculous mandate. Anything is job related. I could be looking at disgusting German fisting, shit eating porn and say that it pertains to my future job aspirations because I want to be a webhoster or a porno maker.
The only thing that can hold you back is your imagination. For instance this is actually pertaining to me work because at some point in time I want to have a glorified pretentious opinion column.
Since there is some opinion in this I can rightfully say that I am just developing my "Internet arguing" skills, which are no different then regular arguing skills but putting a special title on them makes them sound new and innovative maybe even "cutting edge". Or is that term officially to old to describe something new. It's funny when you use a cliche to explain that something is different and a fresh new look on something. Wow that is ironic.
What the fuck does "Brand New" mean anyway. Try to describe it to me without using the simple logic of "brand new" just means something is really new. When I was little I thought it was "Brown new" and I was always asking myself how something could be "brown new" and not even be brown. MY mom then went on to tell me that it was actually "brand new" ok but what the hell does that mean. What if there is no brand on something does that mean it can never be as new as something with a brand. Or is it even an archaic reference to the branding of cattle as in "that cow over there is brand new." Describing that it is so new to the herd that it just received it's brand or that it doesn't even have one yet. If that is the case I will never introduce a girl as my "brand new" girlfriend. I don't want a girl from NIKE and I sure as hell don't want to burn my initials into her ass, even if she is a cow. (no I still don't have a girl friend that was just an example for humor I am tre lonely.)
If you didn't know, it is cool to use foreign words that basically mean 'very' to describe things. Tre and Uber are examples of this. Oddly enough they are both fucking annoying and stupid. This is not cutting edge, well actually it is because they are tired old.

Thought break

Me and Melissa went to check out our future basement sweet at 780 Columbia we don't have it for sure but if we do I get the purple room. It does have a yellow kitchen which Melissa apparently finds disgusting. But their is a little deck perfect size for a card table some chairs and beer or highballs if you are a beer hater.
A very funny coincidence is this there is a girl that someone I know hates who has red hair and she lives in the house 666. Columbia actually has a number 666. I find this hilarious because everyone finds this number so disgustingly evil. Which by the way it isn't, it is the mark of the beast not the mark of the devil. Cane had it put on his forehead because he acted like a wild animal hence a 'beast' and not because he acted like a devil.

I guess i should explain why i am moving already since i just moved about a month ago. I will tell it like a fairy tale for lack of anything else making my summer interesting and less shitty.

Once upon a time about a week ago Dale woke up at one p.m. It was a cloudy day. It seems that in the magical world of Kamloops the sun will not peek from behind the clouds untill our friend Dale has to be at work. Groggily sauntering into the living room in his PJ Dale finds Cuss Cuss. Cuss Cuss is an interesting person becuase he is the one person who Dale would agree with swears as much as he himself does. Cuss Cuss who's traditional name is Nick or roomate number 2 is spralled on the coffe table super man style.
"Sup dude" Cuss Cuss comments as he looks over his shoulder and see dale approach.
"Nah mush" Two syllable answer to a two syllable question. The magical intent of this religously drawn out procedure is unclear but it is clear that if done while Dale stands in the door way either scratching his ass or his head and Cuss Cuss is playing Mario Kart 64 while lying on the coffee table then the world we bill saved and not blown up.
"So were out at the end of June eh" Even though the world was saved from a terrible explosion there was a pretty big bomb dropped in the middle of Dale's living room.
"What?"
"Yeah Dil bought a house and he is going to move into it. I just thought i would give you a heads up he said he is going to talk to us about it"
"Thats fucking garbage" Dale says as he ponders on the evil ness of Dylan's decision to buy a house and try to find more stability in his life. "I hate fucking moving. I just moved a month ago. I put up posters. Fuck Fuck Fuck."
"Yeah dude it sucks" Cuss Cuss had a magical skill for understating the obvious.
Dylan had plans to buy a town house but he had intended on the tenants to stay. These renters however did not and Dylan himslef had to move into his newly aquired home. Dale Cuss Cuss and the weedsmoking quite depressed roomate all have to move out. Cuss Cuss and weedsmoking depressed roomate will be moving to an undecided location and dale and Mellisa will move down town.
the end

This short tale should explain why i am moving. the Moral of the story is never unpack your shit..... ever.

The good thing is that it is again chicken wing day. The bad thing is that i have done nothing since the last time it was wing day.

If any of you don't know me and Mellisa are going to live together. We have talked about it and we are pertty convinced we won't stab each other in our sleep.

I think it would also be suffiecient to say that so far this summer sucks. Alot. I havent done anything but work at my job that is awesome but the pay sucks. I got payed today and after paying rent and stuff i only have 80 dollars left.

so i didn't have a date since i changed the color but now i do

top six reasons why i love chicken wings
1. Every two i eat i can picture that a fucking noisy, stupid ugly chicken died.
2. i can eat as many as i want on thursday down at sgt. O's
3. i will peobably never even meet anyone who has had the avian flu let alone get it myself
4. every time i fill up on chicken instead of beef then one tremendoulsy cute bovine was spared it's life
5. they do not cut down the rainforest to grow chickens
6. the government so kindly puts nutrients and chemicals in the headless and legless chickens that they grow for me

movie awards holy fuck did that just happen award
1. Torque they are haveing a race/shootout on motorbikes. The good guy takes a jump does a back flip and lands on the protagonist he jumps and his motorbike then blows up.
2. lost highway when the dude gets hit in the back of the head and then he gets the coffee table in the forehead

movie awards. You know he's dead award (i don't know if i have done this one before but better twice then never)
1. Robo Cop II. He takes the evil robots brain and smashes it on the pavement with his forearm.
2. Demolition man. Stallone freezes Snipes and tarzan swings and boots him in the face his head breaks off bounces a couple of times and shatters.

my roomate nick walks up to me as i am making a sandwich. "i wanna make food but i am too hungry. I gotta go take a shit but i don't have the energy. I don't have the patience to wait for food and i don't want to go up stairs to shit. Life would be so much easier if i could just eat my own shit."

while i was playing tony hawk three this morning.
nick "You have to stop swearing."
me "why?"
nick "becuase you suck at this game and you can only swear if you are good at it"
me "fuck"

I had a startling revelation today. Old people are fucking rude.

Me and Melissa went to a film festival movie. You know the ones with the artistic old people and it was fucking loud. People would not shut up.

I seriously had to lean over and ask an elderly gentlemen "can you and your friend not talk" and no I didn't say please because when you talk through the first fifteen minutes of a movie you don't get the magic word you get to shut the fuck up.

I have sat next two a ten year old that managed to keep quiet and squirm less then the stupid old people that decide since they have been on the earth for over 65 years that you are allowed to chew loudly and play with the wrapper on your candy bar. How is this you wanna talk, you wanna eat loudly stay the fuck home and for Christ sake keep your goddamn shoes on in a movie theatre, retard.

If you have noticed that this blog has had some more heavy topics then you are used to it is becuase i decided to give up on my other blog and just have one instead of two.

Unless you have been living under a rock for the last week you have heard about the whole prisoner disgrace debacle that is hitting the fan right now. Everyone is apologizing and saying the typical "how could this happen"

I know it is disgraceful but if this whole situation seriously surprised anyone they are a fucking idiot. And I will tell you exactly how this happened.

Iraq has oil. They pissed off the states fourteen years ago when they tried to invade Kuwait. Ever since then the states have been itching for any reason to head into Iraq.

Al Qaida blows up the World Trade Centre. The US goes and blows the fuck out of Afghanistan for a while (What ever happened with Bin Laden?). From this point the states decide that since they are all the way over in the middle east right next to Iraq and that they were still pissed at Saddam and that they still wanted his oil. Drum up some "weapons of mass destruction" charges and invade.

A typical tactic of war has always been to de-humanize the enemy that way your troops will not feel bad when they disgustingly blow the shit out of them. The states have been saying that the Iraqi soldiers are monsters they had ties with Bin Laden and they were partly responsible the World Trade Centre destruction and they are secretly holding weapons to kill everyone's families in the US.

Of course this is not true but why would we listen to the UN anyway.

The thing is you have all these soldiers who are guarding prisoners who they think are monsters. Who cares if you humiliate a monster, mentally torture them and maybe even beat one or two to death.

No-one cares if you do this to monsters but unfortunately there is no such thing as monsters and it turns out you did this to people. Regular soldiers like you, People misled by a mad man.

Last night i was watching a program on much music about sexuality in music videos. I will admit i am pretty torn on the subject. On one hand i think it is stupid that there are half naked girls and it portrays unatainable goals for a lot of young women. But on the other hand i feel that everyone should be comfortable with their body so they should be allowed to be naked.

I will say that the naked ness in music videos is bad. I cannot however pinpoint how bad it really is. I cannot put my thumb on the adverse effects our society is witnessing becuase of the typical rap video but i can say they are there and they will grow.

Thongs are perfectly acceptable as underwear. I do not understand how they can be comfrotable but that is just me being close minded. Some people say that thongs have been worn for quite some time, i never noticed. Now it seems like every girl under the age of thirty and over the age of eight wears a thong. The advent of the hip hugger or low rise jeans is the reason why i now notice the thong. Cat eyes are what it is called when your thong raises above you pants becuase of the shape that is made with the straps and the pants. I remember when this used to be a fouxpas. "I can see your cat eyes" used to be something you said in the odd chance that you could see a girls underwear now it should be that you say something when you can't see girls underwear becuase that occurs far less often.

What do thongs have to do with music videos. It seems that not much but the biggest thing that music videoa are teching us right now is that you have to be sexy all the time. Thongs are sexy. So you have to wear them all the time. Just like clevage and tight pants the thong has been adopted for a daily routine.

One of the arguments for the sex in videos is that it empowers women. let me ask you this how much empower ment does a gorgeous women with big tits and a nice ass need. Wouldn't it be logical that the women who need to be empowered are the fat ugly ones. The ones who feel that they are not good enough for our beauty crazed society. I say that the empowerment card is bullshit. Untill you show me some fat girls who are ugly on my music videos. These girls are the ones who need a hand up. They are the the ones who are uncomfortable with their bodies and i don't think we should make them feel ugly anymore.

A funny thing about the program on much music was that they had female artist like Nelly Fertado and Tegan and Sara comment on how it is wrong to sell the sexuality in the videos. This is a murky puddle becuase could it not be said that these extremely attractive women are only famous singers becuase of their looks. Or their sexual attractiveness. I am ashamed to admit it but i have only ever shown interest in their work because i feel they are insanely hot. This is where the murky water comes in becuase even though they still have their clothes on do they not still try to sell their sex appeal.

Is it bad that music videos want you to have sex with the hot female singer or is it bad that they show you alot of clevage. I feel that it is bad to base anything on sex and that how much clothes you wear when you put the image of "buy this album there is a hot girl involved" out there it doesn't matter if you are wearing a bikini top or a turtleneck it is still wrong.

Sex sells is another argument. The people put the sex in their videos so that networks will run them and that people will buy them. This is not a fucking excuse if anything it is a reason to not put the sex in the videos. If people will not watch a music video because it has no sex then putting sex in it is not right. How bout we do something to the effect of not having to put the sex in. They say that the hardest thing for a man from an abusive lineage of men to do is break the cycle but that he should still do it. Sex in videos is the exact same just becuse it is there doesn't mean it is ok.

Alot of you know me as being sexual and talking about sex alot. I am not going to tell you that it is right or wrong and i am not going to blame the music videos for this. I am just going to say that even though i really enjoy sex and do not have a problem with my body i manage to keep my clothes on, most of the time.

i have more pictures. Go look at them.

movie awards
best lichen thrope (were wolf)
1. Underworld. That big guy with the super deep voice was seriously scary
2. Ginger Snaps. It still had boobs hahaha

Best fighting choreography
1. Iron monkey. Holy shit
2. The Rundown. When the pigmys (they were actually called that in the movie) grab the rock by the ankles and fling him into a tree was amazing.

Best X-ray bone break
1. Romeo must die. When he kicks the dude in the top of the head and his spine breaks vertebrae by vertebrae.
2. Wild Storm. Cloud is fighting the big bad guy adn his arm breaks. On a lighter note cloud then rips off his own arm and manipulates the blood and shoots it at the bad guy using his mind.

I gave you three becuase i felt bad that there hasn't been movie awards in such a long time.

"It's always great when the pretty boys get it" Lachlan Labere