oh and if any of you have noticed that i have been acting a little off or distant in the past two weeks it is becuase i have a disgutingly gigantic crush on a girl and it makes me feel wierd. I never told you before because it didn't feel right to tell of something like this. Yes i did tell some of you but that is because i am a disgusting blabber mouth and can't keep a secret to save the planet. I am telling you all this just so you can understand if i am acting wierder then usual (which, to begin with, is a pretty fucking large amount of whatever wierdness is measured in)

bah.

I had this wonderful idea that i was going to write an open letter to shitty boyfriends everywhere and that it would be funny and sarcastic. I got the idea after having a conversation with a friend because he met this girl and they were going to date but she had all this wierd baggage from a shitty boyfriend. I started to write it but then decided that it was totally annoying and wierd and stupid and not really that funny. I was like mid-life funny which is retarded so anyway here is a short form of the letter

Dear shitty boyfriend
Thanks for treating your girlfriend like shit. Now she is all fucked up when nice guys like me date them. Fuck you.

and for the record i am a nice guy and if you don't think so you are a stupid piece of shit. Your head is rammed up your ass so far that little shit balls tickle the little hairs in your nose and make you sneez, inside your ass and then your bowels expand and you would fart but your head is blocking the whole and then you explode in a ball of shit and pain. You die because i am a nice guy and your just to blind to see my greatness. Your life would be blessed if you just accepted my magical presence.

Wanda "man i like this guy soo much"

Dale "thats good go for it"

Wanda "I don't know what to do"

Dale "yeah that can be tough when you see a person and you are like I want you, I want to eat you, I want to take everything you are and add it to myself. We need to be one"

Wanda "would you settle for furiously fingering my juicy love hole?"

Dale "ewww"

Wanda "but it doesn't even stink"

Dale "alright then"

Wanda "and i'll even touch you cak"

Dale "shh you had me at doesn't stink"

Unknown man- "We were running from the cops and then i ran inside my house and pretended that i was asleep the whole time. But they were like this guy was in his carport he seen you throw the shitbag. And he did see me throw the shit bag what can i say i was busted."

Dale- "HA ha ha shit bag that's fucking awesome"

UM- "yeah didn't you throw shit bags when you were a kid"

Dale- "I am starting to wish i had"

UM- "The best was one time i took a shit in a pizza box and then put it on a guys doorstep and rang the door bell. He was all like 'oh pizza' and he opened the box and it was shit he was so mad it was awesome"

And then my somach hurt from too much laughing. The unknown man above will remain nameless becuase he is my fucking hero and i wanna hear more poop stories.

Dale "I hate waiting more then anything."

pause

Dale "well being forcibly sodomized on a regular absis would sauck alot but next to that i hate waiting the most."

me in my msn talk

some girl at bar "where do you work?"
me "at movie mart"
girl "I love you. I come there sometimes just to see you"
me " ahhhhhhhh thanks"
girl "you wont remember this in the morning"
me "yeah what ever i will totally remember"

and 36 seconds later i forgot who had talked to me.

the horse one the left is a simple recreation of a family crest that i saw as a child that mysteriously dissappeared. Evidently that was the crest i was talking about when i mentioned it in reference to the psychic telling me i was a white stallion

Last night i borrowed lisa's step counter and todays count is 8556

So i jsut finished the first midterm of three. The scary thing is it was easy. Mostly just logic and simple math. Since there were three midterms and i am done one that makes the fraction 1/3 so i am 33.33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333% done my midterms. Thank you grade nine math you really saved my ass this time.

as many of you know i have a new tattoo on my arm. As a select few of you know that tattoo is based off of a poem i wrote a long long time ago. Since i found my poetry book i found the poem makes perfect sense. here it is (the dash indicate a new line)

Mortality
-the blue tree of sadness is taller then tall bigger then you or me
-the shadow from which stretches across the land
-its roots flow through red angry grass
-hard to see because the grass inflicts blindness
-causeing you not to see you own foul rage
-but instead forces the sight of misaction to fall upon others
-should be innocent faults but the redness swells them to monstrous proportions
-some hide from the sadness inside their house with their material trinkets of happiness
-but it seems eventually those possesions wear out and become broken and no longer happy
-run accross the the grass every one needs
-do not walk though quickly consumed
-it is hard to get off once involved upon the tangling anger
-climb the tree of sadness
-it may seem like it is taking forever but eventually you conquer the basic but sleek trunk
-keep your wits or you could slip and sink further down the sadness and depression bark
-perhaps even to the angry grass once more
-climb untill you get to the entanglementof branches
-there you must search for the green feather of hope
-green becuase hope is renewed faith
-green signifying new growth
-a feather because light easy to be pciked up and held on to
-but if grasp is not tight enough may float away in the wind
-be aware of the purple rotten fruit of despaire
-fermented if eaten will wonder around till the intoxicated confusion wears off
-grasp the feather climb to the top and reachh for the bright sunny yellow sky
-the warm rays will comfort you
-but be fore warned when a grey cloud comes watch your footing
-you could topple on down
-stand there in yellow warm comfort
-untill the white pure dove of freedom soars on by
-jump upon its back
-soar in the comforting warm rays
-flying above the tree and grass
-you now are truly free

In an ongoing attempt to imbrace my inner art fag i bring you quotes from my newly re-found poetry book that i started in highschool i'll put the years after a reference if they are their

If you are ashamed of who you were
Then you are ashamed of who you are (97)

death is not a pretty picture yet we must all paint it just the same (97)

There is a difference between carefree and irrisponsible (98)

You are what life makes you (98)

i thought there was more guess i never wrote them down whatevs

wow sexual deviancy i smell a list (sorry for the visual)

six things that need to be checked off of my sexual list before I die
6: A girl with one arm (i don't know i just want to)
5: Mile high club. (I just want to give away some airplane peanuts)
4: Some sort of ethnic minority. (is that racist?)
3: orgy. (if sex is good more sex is better)
2: my cousin. (just kidding--or am i)
1: all of the stripes that i don't have. (If you don't know then you will think i am prick when i tell you so ask someone else)

Many of you may remember when society started throwing around the term generation x. How close everyone of that age group felt knowing that they could all identify with each other. They had movies like reality bites and threesome.

My generation needs an identity. I will herby call us the commercial generation. I dub us thus because our generation has for our whole lives been a target audience. Hee-man, G.I. Joe, video games. In northamerica these things started in our childhood they were ours. Ninetendo came out around 86 I was in grade two. All video games for this system seem childish and simple now all video games are target for ages 18 to 26 us. They made breakfast cereal fun for us Count Chocula, Captain Crunch.

maybe i am just being a little romantic and narcistic but the fact that we were dubbed generation next--by a cola company--should be more wood for the flames.

Now that we have a moniker what will we do with it. Should we make a movie about sexual deviancy or socially maladjusted young adults? Maybe acereal with a cartoon character that has 8 essential nutrients that have to be different types of sugar.

Whatever happens I am sticking to commercial generation we'll see what the future holds.

knowledge is your weapon, how well are you armed?

me and al were walking in downtown vancouver Al was wearing a Ghosbusters shirt he made at a shop the day before

this guy walks up and screams "slimer" and thrusts his hand into al's face. the guy walks away and then al turns to me and says

"was that guy pointing at me?"