if this works you should see a double post and some bitching pictures

thank you merlin for the pictures

thanks to merlin i now have pictures from my trip to vancouver in december and now i might even be able to get some of that there sex you all are talking about cause i am artistic

thanks to merlin i have recieved some of the photos that i took when i was in vancouver. Now maybe i will havea chance to get some of that there sex again.

i have two new top six lists so here they are:

Top six commandments that i Dale De Ruiter god of metal have just told moses to cut into stone.
1. Though shalt have double bass kick behind all guitar solos
2. though shalt have gratuitous cowbell on at least one song for every album
3. Though shalt not be ashamed of liking glam, metal core or the color pink for it is good and i have created all these for a reason.
4. Everyband should release a concept album
5. Do not make fun of anyones style for your style causes me pain but i have shown you mercy from my metal wrath.
6. Remember the sabbath day and keep it metal

top six reasons to watch constantine

1. super bitching hell scenes
2. sweet sweet demon death
3. because your hatred for keanu is unfounded. Sure he sucks at acting and doesn't have much range but neither does any of the super actors in hollywood it is so they can sell movies because you will know a movie is within your range of taste becuase the chracters are the same from one movie to the next
4. that hot chick from the mummy is in it
5. keanu's character dies twice hahah fuck you keanu

when you masterbate in the living and are not sure when someone is coming home just keep a glass of milk handy then when you hear the key in the door you can throw milk everywear and cover the sperm that is on the tv, walls, couch and ceiling

awww i spilled my milk

having bad credit is like having an std. You can keep it a secret for a while but eventually the herpes will flare up and then the bank won't let you buy a car

aieee i fear i have commited a cardinal sin. I brushed your email aside and decided i would reply when i had more time. Without ever realizing that i would not have anymore time and that infact i was lying to myself. A sort of self lying of me trying to induce happiness at the thought that i would in the near future be sitting around with nothing better to do then talk with a cackny accent and answer all the un answered email. Is this the time you ask am i currently sitting with a martini with two olives on some plastic device that has skewered them--well no i just thought it was the decent thing to do to answer your emaill after over two weeks of silence. With my apologies of course: I dale de ruiter am sorry that it took me 23 days to answer your simple query although it has left me what that simple query was.

so instead i will tell you something interesting that i did today i watched four movies always entertaining but a mistake none the less because i am always pitched into a raucous stint of contemplation a re-evaluation of my life running down the checklist to see if i am doing everything in my power to live a better happier productive life. Which to some degree i would have to agree i am doing except my effiviency is a bit shoddy but who can blame a guy like me for falling short in such an area.

I watched "the living end" an early effort by the greg araki also responible for the great "nowhere" and the slightly less magestic "doom generation" this movie was easily placed as an early movie because of the bad acting and low quality. I think it might be a good point to interject that bad line delivery seems to be an atribute of the araki style. In the movie "the living end" two boys have aids and they decide to fuck everything because they are going to die anyway.

We must we be subjected to such a volcanic influence who here would not go on a cross province killing spree with homosexual anal sex involved. Well actually i could live with out the killing and the anal sex but the nomadic fuck-everything-we-will-deal-with-responsibility-if-it-catches-us-lifestyle is entirely to romantic for this would be poet to turn a blind eye. It is most likely due to the fact that i will be moving town but i could swear that there is some gypsy blood in me because my shoes are wantint to stray. MY six day work week is a dark cloud growing on my shoulder and raining on the back of my calves with ever step i take.

Why isn't it march 18th yet

and the newest column just cause i know you are all bored and want threee things to read right now

Last year for valentines day I decided to give myself the gift of love—not masturbation. I quit smoking on Feb 15 2004. It has been a full year and in hindsight it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I would love to tell you how difficult it was for me to quit. How hard I had to stick to my intent and sit through the cold sweats and battle it out with myself. If I told you that it would be a lie all I did was read a book and then I quit. In fact I remember being amazed at how easy it actually was.
It wasn’t like I was a half ass smoker either I was a pack a day every damn day. Tonsilitus didn’t even stop me in my hay day—well actually I only smoked 3/4 of a pack when I was sick—Still impressive none the less.
The reasons why I started smoking were just as stupid as any other and did not matter. The reasons I quit smoking were pretty dull: money and health. Mostly though I wanted to quit because anytime i had any form of physical exertion (running and sex) I would have the equivalent of an Asthma attack.
Before I quit the longest I had gone without nicotine in 5 years (barring sleep of course) was exactly 5 hours and 28 minutes. It was the closest I ever came to a panic attack.
The book I read that allowed me to quit smoking was “The only way to quit smoking” by Allen Carr. This in my opinion is probably the most important book ever written. It can save your life and it has witty little anecdotes riddled throughout its pages.
The major importance of this book is the approach it takes to the whole quit smoking technique; in that it de-brainwashes you. The main reason we are unable to quit smoking is we are brainwashed into thinking it is a long drawn out disgustingly difficult process. I never believed it would be easy myself.
I had tried the cold turkey method which turned into the near panic attack after just five hours. I had also tried the patch. Both attempts were miserable failures which I consoled myself by sucking on the cancer stick as a wee baby suckles on a mother’s tit.
Everyone and their dog knows that 90% of the ci-gag-arette addiction is mental. So in turn the only way to break said addiction is through the mental avenues.
I can not convince you to quit your habit. In fact if you are anything like I was it would make you want to smoke more. That commercial with the lady and a hole in her throat actually gave me cravings.
Now it feels like I never smoked and you can have this feeling too and then you will be able to run again.... or have sex.

A cd review of one of the best things going

...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - Worlds Apart
Released: February 2005

by DALE DE RUITER
oMega Photo Editor
"I heard the new Trail Of Dead is mellower than the last one," a co-worker said to me as we discussed the band’s new effort.
"Well that sucks; I like their hard stuff way more then the mellow stuff they have," was my disappointed reply to his overly informed opinion on the subject of music.
Once again where I expressed my opinion; I am forced to eat crow, Worlds Apart, is a renaissance-inspired, child-laughter-sampling, at times piano-driven, post-rock slaughter. The band is a little too ambitious for its own good and this is apparent while listening to the CD. It has a slow start with a simple piano, choir and string ensemble that ends in a scream. The good music starts just shy of 10 minutes in.
The greatest feature with this album is how strong the band is willing to express their opinion. In the title track alone they voice its disapproval of everything from soccer moms to the post-9/11 fallout and the war on terrorism. It’s refreshing to know that a band has something to stand for and does so.
The only thing about Worlds Apart that I am leery of is the push that it is getting.
Everyone loves good music but not when it is forced upon them; but at the same time if this type of music were to be put on the radio in place of some other music that would be beneficial.
Overall, this disc is good and I would suggest acquiring it in some form, although there are some weak songs the strong ones more than make up for it.

here is last weeks column which i forgot to post.

The Internet has advanced we humans as a communicative species, doing so by connecting the planet into what the experts call a global village. In this village, we can instantly message other people around the planet and trade information. We can learn about anything from the secrets that the government hides from us to why Brad and Jen split. Most importantly, however, is that the Internet has made it exceedingly easier for us to do each other.
Internet dating is a good thing—I probably never would have lost my virginity without it.
This past weekend I was able to secure a date with a lovely lady whom I had met this summer and never kept up contact with. She had found me through one of my online profiles and we started to talk and inevitably flirt. We set up an impromptu date. The Internet allowed us to go from pleasantries such as "do you remember me from the wedding?" to even more pleasantries, such as "I want to do you so hard right now."
I am not trying to say that this is the only reason that people go on the Internet, but there must be something about the clickity-clack of the keys that brings out the sexual voyeur in all of us—for shit’s sake even my mom has cybered. (I pretend that was an accident).
I will constantly go into a conversation with the best of intentions but then end up with some Internet flirting going on. My major problem in real life is my first impressions but the Internet has solved that. There are no embarrassing flatulence or burping incidences when you’re using your keyboard and, come one who hasn’t run into that little tragedy? “Hi my name is something that you will never remember because I just farted and it will probably stink.”
The Internet doesn’t entirely rid you of this problem but hopefully by the time you meet someone they will be so impressed by your poetry, online pictures and overall boasting that they let a few mishaps slide.
In our busy lifestyles today every little bit of efficiency should be celebrated. The actual reason why Internet dating is better then real life dating is you can pre-screen people and only meet people that have the same interests as you. If you could go to the bar and everyone who likes reading were in one corner and everyone who likes sports was in a different corner, would that not make it a little easier to introduce yourself to the hotties? We are finally getting over the fact that not everyone on the Internet is a fat, sweaty, old balding man with coke-bottle glasses and accepting that there might be people just like us waiting to meet someone just like us.
It is even becoming common-place for everyone to have a story of how a couple split up and one person moved some great distance away to be with someone they met online.
Before the Internet, our relationship escapades were limited to where we have been in person, but now you can meet anyone from anywhere almost anytime.

this is what came out when i pasted so know you know alot about someone

Favorites
[ .061. ] number: 5
[ .062. ] clothing brand: levi's
[ .063. ] shoes: flip flops
[ .064. ] thing: my books
[ .065. ] tv show: That 70's Show
[ .066. ] sport: none really i am to girly
[ .067. ] vegetable:carrots
[ .068. ] fruit: watermelon
[ .069. ] movies: Stand By Me
[ .070. ] magazine: US Weekly
[ .073. ] bubblely shakerz: huh???
[ .074. ] gum:juicy fruit
[ .075. ] fish: does shrimp count?
[ .076. ] candy: penaut butter m&m
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: choc malted crunch
[ .078. ] color: pink
[ .079. ] season: spring
[ .080. ] holiday: Halloween
[ .081. ] scent: Cilla's baby shampoo
[ .082. ] singer: Justin Timberlake
[ .083. ] group: No Doubt
[ .084. ] type of music: any
[ .085. ] cereal: special k
[ .086. ] thing in your room: my bed
[ .087. ] place to be: anywhere but here
[ .089. ] sub: i dont remember
[ .090. ] junk food:chips
[ .091. ] overall food: sandwiches
[ .092. ] store: Target
[ .093. ] shoe brand: adidas
[ .094. ] fast food: Togo's
[ .095. ] restaurant: Olive Garden
[ .096. ] shape: triangle
[ .097. ] time of day: night
[ .098. ] pizza topping: bacon
[ .099. ] way of getting caffeinated: drinking lots of Pepsi
[ .100. ] boys name:Jacob
[ .101. ] girls name: Priscilla
[ .102. ] mall: Montabello
[ .103. ] thing to do when you visit your "homeland":my what land???[ .105. ] board game: The game of Life
[ .106. ] card game: bull shit
[ .107. ] car:Nissan Xterra
[ .108. ] music video: Wait ya waitin for
[ .109. ] swear word: shit
[ .110. ] musical:
[ .111. ] month: May
[ .112. ] cartoon character: Care Bears
[ .113. ] radio station: 98.7 Star
[ .114. ] song: Autobiography
[ .115. ] letter: C
[ .116. ] rock or rap: rap
[ .117. ] rock or pop: POP
[ .118. ] rock or r&b: r&b
[ .119. ] rap or r&b: both
[ .120. ] rap or pop:pop
[ .121. ] rap or r&b: both
[ .122. ] rap or metal: rap
[ .124. ] pop or metal: pop
[ .125. ] r&b or metal: rnb
[ .126. ] linkin park or limp bizkit: linkin park
[ .127. ] tool or korn: neither
[ .154. ] selena or jennifer lopez: Jlo
[ .155. ] love or lust: love
[ .156. ] winter or summer: winter.
[ .157. ] spring or fall: spring
[ .158. ] shakira or britney: britney
[ .159. ] garbage or no doubt: No Doubt
[ .160. ] friends or seinfeld: friends
[ .161. ] diamond or pearl: diamond
[ .162. ] being HOT or COLD: Hot
[ .163. ] buffy or angel: angel
[ .164. ] dawson’s creek or gilmore girls: dawsons
[ .165. ] football or basketball: basketball
[ .166. ] summer olympics or winter olympics:neither
[ .167. ] skiing or snowboarding: snowboarding
[ .168. ] bath or shower, morning or night: Shower, night
[ .169. ] black or white: black
[ .170. ] orange or red: red
[ .171. ] yellow or green: green
[ .172. ] purple or pink: pink
[ .173. ] abercrombie or hollister? what
[ .174. ] hot topic or pac sun: hot topic
[ .175. ] inside or outside: Outside
[ .176. ] weed or alcohol: weed
[ .177. ] cell phone or pager: cell
[ .178. ] pen or pencil: penl
[ .179. ] powerpuff girls or charlie’s angels: charlie's angel
[ .180. ] scooby doo or din dino: scooby doo
[ .181. ] old school pink ranger or old school yellow ranger: yellow ranger
[ .182. ] lizzie mcguire or that’s so raven: raven
[ .183. ] tattoos or piercing: tattoos
[ .184 ] pink or red: pink
[ .185. ] peck on the lips or frenching: depends on the person

the story of my life in short form (on msn drunk)

well i was born
had alot of fun being oblivious and late
then i went to school and the other boys wouldn't let me play with their dinky cars
and i never really fit in and then people teased me
then i did some soul searching
then i went to college and humped some girls
and kissed a few boys on dares
then i graduated and got super scared of real life

so i finally managed to track down a typing test on the internet. Aparently if you go to google and look up "typing test" it gives you one. Yet somehow i was never able to figure this out in the past. This is the part where you laugh at me because my net average typing speed from three tests is 40. Which is not fast enought to get any kind of job that involves typing.

Other then that i am doing alright. When i am not feeling sorry for myself and crying myself to sleep from my sluggish stumbling figners and their lack of and for of comprehensive construction i am pretty much putting off getting a job.

I do not have a job for when i move to vancouver as of yet and i am maybe getting a little anxious. So if anyone down there in the good old couv has a job for one dale de ruiter that does not invlove any lifting or labor just drop me a line and we'll talk like a mother fucker.

Seriously how am i supposed to be rich and famous and get girls to sleep with me if i don't have a job. I mean i could be a starving artist in vancouver but how fucking tired is that everyone seems to be doing that. i don't think i am stupid enough or passionate enough.

Meghan- "when i win the lottery i will buy you a spa package where you can get an enema... and you will love me for it"

Dale- "yes yes... then i can finally throw away that garbage bag and elastic band contraption i have at home"

I saw an aztek driving down the road the other day and you know what i thought, I thought to myself "man that is one badass looking car." Sure it is big square and the tires are too small for the body but it is awesome for one simple reason. It looks like a car off of the movie 'the Road Warrior' and that is enough to make anything fucking cool. Anyone who is going to try and tell me that that movie didn't fucking rule will actually have to fight me to the death.

Oh and by the way the new mustangs are ugly. Haha if you weren't pissed of before you are now. The reason everyone likes them is because they look like the cars from the 60—which they don't they look more like a 80 impalla or some other beast. Even if it did look like a car from the 60s or 70s big fucking deal why is that always a fall back plan for anything music, design, art are all repeatedly laden with throwback 'retro' shit. Leave it alone that was almost forty years ago. Forty years good lord let it die.