yesterday was my birthday we went to the cambie and lisa gave me the greatest gift ever old pictures that we had taken together over the last while and my oh my was there some doozies like these ones

me and lisa went to the art gallery to see the rodin exhibit and Lisa crapped on me when i was talking about all the girl on girl action that rodin depicted in his lude sculptures. It isn't as much about form of the body when they are kissing and gropeing eachother.

After rodin we wandered off and saw some other art and boy am i glad that i was able to appreciate the finer more gentrified things in life like art.

gwar pictures

this is after the set my face is covered in the fake blood


this is a picture of my pink contacts after a straight shot with blood semen from the singer

"You all are going to die! I am giving you AIDS. I have word AIDS and anyone who can hear my voice right now has AIDS." The singer from Gwar.

sweet jesus fuck i saw gwar live.

They peeled the skin off of nazi popes face and sprayed the audience.

They cut off bush's head and sprayed the blood from his neck stump all over the singers disgusting ogre penis and face.

I got a straight shot of bloody semen to the eye ball my contact was pink for the rest of the day.

I'll just let all the greatness of this settle in as you try to comprehend how marvelous it was to actually see gwar live.

I saw strapping young lad and lamb of god and poison the weel and norma jean as well but they never drenched me in blood and semen so they weren't as good.

An update on my life

So I guess I should give everyone a heads up on what has been happening as of late since all my last entries will have been about CDs or music in some way. My excuse is I haven’t had the internet in my house for a month and can only computer when I am at work or in an internet café at 2 in the morning

About a month and a half ago I got fired from my shitty job at steamrollers they cited that the reason was in three months my productivity rate had not risen so they had to let me go. The real reason most likely lies some where in the realm that I hated it and they new it and I had been replace with a high school student who could work better hours.

I spent one of the most glorious weeks of my life here because I pretty much knew I would get a job at Mahoney’s because two of my friends worked there including Derek my roommate. Back to this glorious week that I had mentioned: well it involved waking up at 2pm eating chicken burgers talking on the internet and playing the love of my life my X-Box.

About five weeks ago i got hired at Mahoney’s. Me and Derek were not allowed to work together at first because there was fear about us jerking around on our shift and as the manager quoted "punching each other in the balls." Which has to be the absolute best reason for me not being allowed to do something I have ever heard. The reason is that when I met my current manager at a party before I was ever planning on being employed at Mahoney’s it was Courtney’s birthday and she had a party. Me Derek and Courtney were drunk and decided to hammer on each other genitals for kicks. The high light was when Courtney took a swift elbow to the snatch from Derek and then directly after Derek’s jeans received my fist. All the while my two now managers were looking on wincing.

My life has been pretty stagnant I am trying to take some pictures and draw a little I have started to work out my new tattoo. I have the idea in mind and now I just have to draw it out.

I had sex with my friend so my sex life is alright. It was weird and could have been very awkward but I think that everything has turned out for the uneventful regular best. I would tell you more about this in full but every time I do the girl gets pissed so just ask me and I will be more than happy to outline my sex life for you.

I started interning at the Nerve last month doing layout and writing. Next Issue look for 2 interviews, 3 CD reviews, some layout and probably the best picture of me with police officers ever taken. The Nerve is awesome and everyone there is pretty bitching but another job without pay eats the proverbial dick but since I am such a glorified layout dork I actually enjoy it. And they are having a gig-slash-boat cruise next month of which I will be attending. Me alcohol gig cruise boat = unexplainable awesomeness and most likely a little bit of puking hopefully it is a little bit cause puking sucks.

Best news ever is half way through august I will start work at the Capilano Courier where I will be the Art Director of sorts but the best part is I will get mother fucking paid to boss people around and design stuff that’s enough to give even Jesus an erection.

The highlight of my week will be tomorrow when I go to wreck beach and see some old people's shaven genitals and Derek’s penis. The second highlight would have to be all the hot servers at Mahoney’s talking about their sunburned boobs and how they are all gleaming white compared to the rest of their body. Thanks you inconsiderate bitches I still have to work after you tell me this shit. How am I supposed to cook 4 large pizzas while I day dream about your glow in the dark ta-tas? Now that I am thinking of gleaming mammary glands I can’t think enough to write so that is it.

-dale

Open letter to the skinny friend who agrees to wear the same thing as her fat friend at the same time.
You are only making it worse. It is just more obvious that your friend is fat. Did you think that we would see you see how hot you are then a second later see you fat friend dressed the same and be well they are both hot. I mean that one on the right is deadly hot and since the girl on the left is wearing the exact same thing she must be hot.
Well it doesn't work that way ass hole. I saw you on the street today the two of you wearing a tight pink shirt and a tight baby blue skirt with flip flops. I didn't think the one on the left was hot. I actually just made a joke to myself how your outfit came in two sizes: hot and gross.
This part of the letter is to the large girls who are part of this situation. It may be out of your control, your weight i mean but if it is you should dress accordingly. They make clothes that fit your size the best you can get these at specialty stores. Your skinny friend is doing you a miss-service she is taking advantage of you by cashing in on the hot by comparison phenomenon. Seriously who wouldn't look hot next to a sweaty fat chick in a tight baby blue miniskirt well maybe Hitler but only ‘cause he’s dead.