Last night i saw nine inch nails and it was oh so amazing.

It brought back a flood of nine inch nails memories.
Like the video for pinion and the sewer feeding into the guys mouth which was on the hurt home video which i had for a short while before it got stolen but i didn't mond overly because in the video this male hooker gets tied up and this other guy cuts off his dick and has a face bath in the blood. Me being so young and tender at the time found this quite disturbing.
The first time i listened to downward spiral in grade 9 i was fourteen and the music was so fucking loud it made my body hurt in such good way.
Listening to pretty hate machine over and over in edmonton becuase it was the only good tape in the kitchen and how thoroughly i got to know this album because of this.
The age old argument of which is better broken or fixed. In my opinion it is fixed but that could be because i listened to it directly after loosing my viriginity.

Trent reznor was amazing and the guitar player was super cool. Out of control he was first he javelened his amp with a mike stand and at the end of the concert he fucking smashed his guitar. I don't care who did it how much it has been done but smashing your guitar is still fucking cool and will never stop being the perfect end for a set. They played every song i could have wanted well except I'm afraid of americans which i think might not actually count cause it was a duet. They played, wish, head like a hole, eraser which is among my favorites, love is not it enough like 4 other ones that are on without teeth. And to tell the truth i can't recall the names of them all but they were off of everything from pretty hate to broken to downward to fragile to without teeth. He even played singles except for memorabilia which would have been rediculously awesome.

It was the absolute best way to usher in fall.

i bought a new camera a cannon g6 which is thoroughly amazing and i recomend everyone buy expensive digital cameras it will make your life better here are my nine favorites from the close to 500 i took in 4 days

you can tell i should be asleep when i write stuff like this

Mike has a site that showcases msn conversations that were had in the past and all the hilarity there in. Some of these are fucking hilarious i laughed out loud when i read some of the shit i said man oh man that was the golden years any at the bottom of the FAQ section this is what it said: (directly following is the comment i left keep in mind it is 328 in the morning)

the quotes aren't funny!
Yeah, and that's not a question. And you're fat.

fatty mc fatterton:
the faqs called me fat why mike why you be so mean. I guess since i am actually really fat i can't blame you for just stating a fact. The maslicousness behind it thought that is what makes my sould sore. My eyes they are stingy and i want to blink alot becuase you hurt my feelings i think this is the prequel to my crying yes george lucas wrote this in the seventies but my hurty eyes have only come to me now after the actually crying. Yeah it doesn't make sense so what stop writing sequels fucking hollywood you bunch of jerk faces write a new story. I don't understand how you can't have new stories i mean everyone who works at starbucks is trying to give you a screen play and your recycling fuck you holly wood fuck you. Seriously Fuck you you make me so angry i could punch you in the mouth twice then the cops would come because i beat you and the neighbors called the cops that is probably why god wont let me have a girlfriend because of you pigfuck dogshit hollywood not only are shitty but you keep my love life non existant god i am so angry i could piss on my own face.

ps go read www.pureawesome.net you know unless your fat

holy fuck shit i know you missed my columns and i am sorry

The first time I ever went to a drag show

Walking down the street I bumped into a friend I hadn’t seen in about two years. My gay friend. Out and proud of his homosexuality but not to the point of annoyance as those who act like a grade school middle class girl with a rich daddy who makes her feel like a princess. We catch up on old times s we peruse LPs outside of some vinyl store in milk crates discounted to sell off excess unwanted stock.
Nothing super exciting has happened with either of us in the last couple of years. We talk about the people we lost touch with, everyone is alive some people had kids. The old covers on the 80’s albums are more entertaining that our conversation to be exact… so I’ll stop talking about it.
“We’re going to a drag show tonight. You should come!” My friend (who I am not naming because I am not sure if the way I am describing his homosexuality is offence to him or not.) exclaims in flamboyant glee. I decided that since I now live on Davie I should immerse myself and experience the culture first hand. I had never been to a transvestite floor show and my interest was piqued; so I agreed to go.
There was some quality lip-synching done at the show and I saw a man do a cartwheel in high heels. From my understanding derived from the whining of my drunk friends it is pretty hard to walk in let alone do a fucking cartwheel in high heels.
During a short break in the show a chugging contest was set up to amuse everyone as the preparations were made for the second half of the show. Since we were in the front set of tables it is not too much of a surprise that the host came up to our table. Bouncing up and down waving his hand in the air as a child in grade school I thought my companion was a shoe in to be chosen as a contender.
“You don’t have your hand up so I pick you.” The glamed up host was looking straight at me as she sensually whispered my death. My heart sank because quite simply I cannot chug beer at all. Some how though I managed to choke down the pint faster than my rival. The host made a comment about my gag reflex being turned off. I didn’t really acknowledge it because I was trying not to puke up the beach ball sized pocket of gas that was sitting at the top of my stomach. As I waddled back to my seat I realized that not only had I just been victorious in my first ever beer drinking competition but it was at a drag show. How many people can call up their mom at 2 in the morning and scream “Hey mom I just won a beer chuggin’ competition! At a fucking drag show!

i don't know why i forgot to put this on here but here it is.

Lester Bangs is Turning Over in His Fucking Grave!
Converge Talks Hardcore, Hates Metal-core and Nerve Can’t Stop Thinking About Softcore.
By Dale DeRuiter

When I was told to interview Converge for a Nerve cover story, you could say I got a little bit excited. Converge has been around in the underground hardcore scene for roughly 15 years, and with the whole metal explosion right now in popular culture, I figured I could brag about my journalistic coup - maybe even get some hot action out of the whole deal.
“Hey, my name is Dale. I’m interviewing Converge.” That could be my new pick up line. To which the screaming hot rock-and-roll-girl-who-likes-the-heavier-stuff-which-means-she-hates-her-dad-but-loves-to-fuck could say, “Really? Jesus fuck - just let me get rid of these fucking pants so we can have hot dirty sex on the floor amidst all these peanut shells, spilled beer, and tobacco sputum and you can go high five your friends and tell them I did you so hard you got a rash.”
So I was lining the interview up with Keith Carman from Epitaph (the band’s new home since their last album You Fail Me in 2004) when I got the out-of-office auto reply email:
“I will be out of the office until August 29th. Please contact xxxxx@epitaph.com or 416-xxx-xxxx if it's of an URGENT nature. If it's of a personal or non-urgent nature, I will be able to check my e-mail periodically. You can also reach me on Keith Carman's cell phone if you really want to, cowboy. Hot fuckity dog and cheers!”
Bad form Keith – you’re fucking with my fantasy here (and don’t ever say “cheers”.) You could be cock-blocking me. Fuck you and your good mood well wishing.
No one from Epitaph was able to reach the band to tell me a precise date for the interview and it ended up taking the better part of two weeks to nail the fucker down. With deadlines looming, I was seriously starting to doubt the validity of this operation. I didn’t really care about the cover anymore – I suggested putting stick figures on the cover if the interview couldn’t be arranged in time. How bitchin’ would stick figures on the cover be? No, my only real fear was losing the chance to score with randy and adventurous females. My erotic fugue had completely taken over. At the eleventh hour, God stepped in and I finally got to talk to bassist Nate Newton. To be fair – and putting aside my incredible sexual desperation - Nate was a good guy and spent nearly an hour on the phone with me as I stumbled through some questions. We talked about the band’s new home and how much he dislikes metal-core. I fantasized about sluts the whole time.

Nerve: The hottest news right now is the album that you guys are working on this summer. What stage are you at currently?
Nate: It's in our brains. I'd say we have skeletons for about seven or eight new songs. Probably half of those are almost completed. Lots of riff ideas. In the next few months we will have maybe 12 or 13 songs written - if the creative juices keep flowing.
Nerve: How was it releasing an album with Epitaph? Did they make any demands?
Nate: No, actually. When we met Brett for the first time he sat down and he told us, I don't want to try to market you guys in some way that you don't want to be marketed. I don't want to push you. I don't want to make you go out on the road 12 months out of the year. I don't want to push you to sell a lot of records. I just want you to do what you do. What else could you ask for in a label? He basically just sat down and said make any record you want and don't worry about anything. You don't see that kind of support in most labels these days
Nerve: You have eight albums on five labels. That’s a lot of bouncing around. Will you be staying with Epitaph?
Nate: For the first time, I think we all feel we have found a permanent home. On Epitaph. All the labels we have dealt with in the past, we still have good relationships with them. They’re great, great people and they have done great things for us. (But) Epitaph is the first label we have dealt with that is able to do things exactly the way we want them done.
Nerve: In my research to bone up on Converge, I repeatedly stumbled across the contention that you guys are responsible for the direction of heavy music today. How does that make you feel? Is it hard to live up to it when you record?
Nate: I could care less. I'm sure if I thought about it, it would definitely make me uneasy. Not because people think that way about our music, but more (that) I don't want to take credit for that. There are so many bands before us that did things that we were copying. If there was no Entombed, if there was no Accused, there wouldn't be a Converge. For people to say that we are the forefathers of metal-core or whatever - that is idiotic.
Nerve: What do you think about metal-core becoming so popular right now?
Nate: To be honest, I don't really think about it. I don't really lump us into that scene.
Nerve: Yeah - I wouldn't really lump you in, but as a heavier band and with heavy being so popular right now, you can ride the shirttails of it. Of course, the good part is you can reach more of an audience to listen to your music but what are the bad aspects?
Nate: The bad part is that it’s a lot like grunge or glam rock back in the late ‘80s. There are a million cookie cutter bands that all look the same, all their music sounds the same and it is really unexciting to me. I am not enticed to buy any of these records or listen to them. I have always been a guy who is into hardcore and creative, original underground music. I am not really drawn to this whole corporate buy in, and stuff that is happening in quote un-quote “metal-core” right now… I think giving things names like metal-core is just lame, anyways. But I do understand how naming a genre like that makes it easier to describe bands and that's cool. Personally, with every band I've been in, I have never wanted to just fall into a genre like that. I have always wanted to be genre defying musically, or defining even. What I do think about this whole metal-core explosion is it makes me sick to my stomach, so I don't think about it.
Nerve: I was talking to a friend about how nine people out of 10 use music as background noise. Only one out of ten listens to it.
Nate: I would agree with that. I mean a lot of people that listen to music and devote themselves to a scene surrounding a type of music - a lot of those people don't really understand what that sort of music means and that's sad. But at the same time, especially with a lot of younger people that are into hardcore, when you’re a teenager, you need something that will give you an identity. You need something that you can latch onto and call your own and that helps you find other people like you. There is good and bad sides to that. What can I say to someone who doesn't feel about music the same way I feel about music? Nothing really. People buy music or listen to music for certain reasons and that is that. Who am I to say?
Nerve: I have been told that you guys don't like press is that true?
Nate: I wouldn't say that we don't like press. I would say that we don't like most of the major music press.
Nerve: Can you clarify that?
Nate: I just I mean most major music magazines are just advertisements. People give good reviews to awful records cause you know that month the record label is putting five full page ads in the magazine. I just think it’s hypocritical the way most magazines work. I think it’s sad the way that people who review records and interview bands aren't as in your face as I think they should be. It’s sickening to see magazines making rock stars out of a hardcore band - out of people who are just like you and me and just want to play music. The sad thing about it is the†people in those bands buy into it and then the kids buy into it and then, you know, what are we doing this for? I get angry when I think about it.
Nerve: And music becomes a business instead of an art.
Nate: There are some really great magazines out there that I think cover music in an intelligent way but I think a lot of the music press - especially the ones that cover the bands that fall under the same genre as Converge - I think it is just glorified advertisement. Lester Bangs is turning over in his fucking grave.

After the interview was done I felt that I could distill a semi-intelligent piece of work from our conversation. The true test of course is measured by the amount of action that I am allotted as a direct result from the publication of this article. So come get me you sexy little minxes! I’m the guy in a bar drinking cheap beer and laughing at my own jokes with my dink out. Chances are I’m alone – so it should be easy to spot me.

PS. I spit when I talk so warn me when you’re coming in for the hot make out action.