Happy thoughts Christmas edition


I was flying home from Regina to Vancouver on the plane. Taking off I was insulted at how flat and boring the landscape around me was and how little excitement my window seat had to offer. The seat belt sign went of and hastily fumbled with my MP3 player to start what in my opinion is the best airplane music one could ever listen to while in-flight, M83.

Moon child slowly took over my ears as we entered the wispy spotted clouds. I watched the patchwork quilt of boring get smaller below me. As I tried to guess what the square crops were the plane entered the cloud completely. The song ended and I heard the bing of the saet belt sign. I looked down to see what song was about to grace my ears. Don't save us from the flames started to play and we hit turbulence in white out conditions.

This is where my happy thought came in. If I were to plummet to my death in a plane and be burned to death there would actually be some good aspects of this.

One I would have to grow old. As cliche as that is it still holds true. Dipshits at my funeral could even compare me to Kurt Cobain and say it is better to burn out then fade away. To see someone of my stature slowly crippled with old age would be a travesty of the majesty that I currently hold.

Second being cut down in my prime would allow me to be a martyr. they (being the general bereaved populace) could paint full wall murals about me and how I left life too early and what a shame my death really was. Thus fully stroking my ego in post life.

Last point and by far the best point is this. Since I died on fire would not my ghost be on fire as well. To fully reflect my the pain of my death my sans life apparition would be tormented by non stop flames. I would be like the human torch. Instead of haunting buildings I could burn them to the ground. Hahahaha slaughtering everyone inside. Never being able to be defeated my ghost would be a thorn in humanities side forever.

merry Christmas

Merry fictional god day everyone and to celebrate I give you

movie awards

The why the hell does everybody like that guy award
1. Christian Bale: Absolutely the worst face actor I have ever witnessed. Do his eyebrows even have the ability to move? They do when ever he portrays an emotion... which is never... well besides pursed-lip-half-sad-determination
2. Marlon Brando: He's fat, old and talks funny we get it. Oh you say it is from his glory days 20 years ago that he is so famous. You know when he wasn't old.

Most stab worthy character. If movies were magical like in Last action hero and you could you know just stab the character you hate the most and not have to save that dorky blonde kid.
1. Orlando Bloom: Troy was a wired movie. I didn't really know who I wanted to win the war but I sure know who I wanted to fucking die. The only character that didn't.
2. Jar Jar Binks: I think someone said they hated him once

Music Awards

Most annoying new music style that someone is excited about
1. Reggae-tone: Did you know they mixed Latino rap and raggae to make a new form of music? Did you know if you mix shit and piss in a blender you can drink it?
2. Mambo: Ha Ha remember that five minutes that Lou Bega was famous for? Wooo that really brings me back.

short and sweet and to the point.

ps. My presents better be shiny you jaggoffs

So I may be two months late on this one. You say I don't read enough news about the US and their food problems. I tell this will all change my friend. If I were aware of delicious beef panties I would have probably moved south along time ago. On a side note isn't that just the way things work they finally invent delicous ground beef panties and they are fucking infected with e-coli CHRISTMAS IS RUINED.

Not an article

I just realized that i havent written a blog post that was not a piece about to get published in what seems to be forever. Mostly because i don't want to bore all of you with something that is uninteresting happening in my life. That and I am trying to save all of my little boy humor for something good. Which is nothing really just some papers that are unimportant really. So i guess this is just a journal with no point. I feel wierd probably on account that it is nearly four in the morning. I have been taking lots of pictures lately with my camera otherwise known as my soul mate. You can see some of the best ones at my photobucket page
http://photobucket.com/albums/a96/dalebot/

there are some bands in there but i have realized the worst curse of digital photography. I literally have hundreds of pictures i really like but no time or drive to do anything with them. So i have decided that in honor of christmas and making money and spreading cheer (my photos) i will be selling 8x10s for ten dollars clean, neat and easy so if you see a picture of mine that you want to impress someone so that they will do you or at least be in possesion of a hot little picture just drop a line