last sex column of the year
So I have written a lot about sex and how deliciously awesome the carnal act is. I urged you in a lot of situations to have sex when a right minded moralistic person might not. I even got mature there for a second and told you not to be the other person and to not have sex with someone when they are in a relationship.
I am sorry to admit that once again I am going to take the more mature road on this one but don't worry it's not boring like most moral things just happen to be. I want you over the summer to not be shallow. I want you to widen your otherwise close minded views when you are selecting your lovely love partners. I know some of you are leery because we have all had someone tell us we have to have good standards and make our friends jealous with who we fuck.
My friend once told me a joke: "What do a moped and a fat girl have in common?" and the answer is: "They are both fun to ride but you can't chop them up and bury them in the desert." Well actually the real joke is something to do about not letting your friends see you riding them because they will make fun of you.
In the society we live in we have gone from pretty liberated back to being selfish shallow animals obsessed with beauty. With the rise of beauty pageant shows and even extreme plastic surgery one need not go to far to find proof that we are obsessed with beauty. This whole beauty obsessed thing would be fine and dandy if we were all hot hunks with frosted tips… well my hair is not currently frosted so maybe I should lower the ole standards a bit.
I urge you to do the same. Trust me the people that aren't as hot are better lays. Yeah I said it the 'uggos' are better at fucking. It's not just that either poor people fall into this bracket as well. That's right poor people and ugly people make better lovers. No-one knows why this is, it's just one of those studies done by some random-university-that-you-forget-the-name-of-in-five-minutes that is.
I will however lavish you with my theory. I think these people who are undesirable to a society obsessed with the smallest and best know just where they stand in the food chain of sexuality. A little low on the totem pole these potential partners realize that they have to try harder other wise they will be passed over. They practice their skills so that if they manage to get some one nekked they will come back for more.
So if your tired of your rich beautiful lover not putting your genitals in their mouth than kick that jerk to the curb and get your self a poor uggo and have your sexual desires and needs fully satiated. As a further bonus all your friends go home for summer so it is less likely that they will find out.
interview with the reason
The Reason is back with a shiny new disk under their belt. The sophomore album, "Things couldn't be better," hit the shelves Tuesday March sixth. You're in for a wee bit of a change according to the lead singer. "It's more musical and less aggressive. There is almost no screaming and more keyboards than the first album." Adam White states about the new effort. "We are older now and we know what we are doing a little more and the songs are tied together as apposed to 'Ravenna' were some of them were standalones"
"We're just not as pissed as we were anymore. It's hard to scream when you are generally happy" White starts to explain why the new album is different. He also explains "we are still the same guys, we still stand behind everything we do but we just think the new album is better. We were just thinking the whole time 'how do I make this better'" In response to fielding questions about what the old fans would think about the new album and if they would be disappointed by the lighter feel to the new album White explained that there is no way to keep everyone happy.
When bands change there really is no way to keep everyone's respect and inevitable a band has to address the fact that people change over years and since it was three years between the albums it would be jackassery to assume they would both sound the same. "We are just five guys and this is what we are doing. This record is our baby. I don't really know what it is like to have a baby but I imagine it would feel like how we feel about our new record." The bearded singer dotes about their latest effort and adds that the band is a family for all of its members.
As added flavor Sara from Tegan and Sara has a guest vocal spot on a track on the album. "We have been talking about doing something for a long time. So one day she came out and we recorded the song in a day." White admitted that he would not mind working with his friend of 8 years but he and the songstress in the future but there is nothing is planned.
The band which is still based out of Hamilton Ontario spent 7 months getting the new album recorded. They did however have to take a hiatus in the middle because the drummer broke his hand half way through. As a result of the injury the band had to break up the recording process into two chunks. They are happy they did in the end, because even though it did push the release back the band ditched two songs that were slated in favor of new ones written on the break that they fell are better.
To support their album the boys are hitting the road and will be rolling through Calgary April 19 with Anberlin and playing at the Warehouse. White explains that he is happy with the tour lineup because they can pick up some crossover fans as apposed to last year when they toured with Bane, Comeback Kid and Strung out where the fans were not really into something like The Reason.
The band is piquing a lot of interest of various parties in Europe and the states and after their cross Canada tour Adam White admitted that there was a bigger tour being planned. It would not be a bad idea to keep your ear perked for this band in the future as the buzz builds.
video game review for god of war 2
Once again you must pick up your dual swords and try to kill some gods. It seems that Kratos was not happy killing Ares as was the story of the first God Of War. No The main character is still at unease even though he is now a god on Olympus. His self torment over all the death he has caused (including his wife and child) never ended as he thought It would at the completion of his first quest.
The game starts with a scene showing Kratos unhappy on his throne. He has been taking over many lands with his army of Spartans and has angered the other gods of Olympus. He is tricked by Zeus to put his godly powers into the sword of Olympus thus once again becoming mortal. Zeus betrays him and kills him.
Instead of getting all the powers that you had in the first game you enlist the help of the titans. Your shared grudge against Zeus allows you to win the titans favor and they bestow you their magics that are based on the classical elements. The power up system for this magic and your weapons is the same as the first game.
You get red orbs for killing gorgons, minotaurs, skeletons and whatever else you run into on your travels. You use these orbs to charge your multileveled items. With this process not only does your weapons and magic get stronger but you also learn new combos.
There are only a few new additions to the game probably the largest one being the flight mode. You ride on the back of a Pegasus and fight gryphons. As awesome as this sounds the whole process gets tiresome and repetitive quickly as there is only one way to kill the gryphons and you have to thumb it out over and over. A counterpoint to this is the new grabs in the game where on top of the old classic ones where you get to rip guys in half now you can truly dole out the pain. You rip a guys arm off and stab his pointy armor thing that is one his wrist into his face. You can also tear out the cyclops' eyes and unlock a bonus if you are feeling especially randy.
The new cast of the game is very well represented in the plot movies throughout the game. The graphics in regular game play are top notch but these go above and beyond. The highlights would be the flashbacks of the old war between the gods and the titans which saw Zeus victorious and banishing the titans to be imprisoned in various shitty predicaments.
Overall the game is very good and the puzzles do offer a refreshing break from the all the labour some killing you must do. The game however is too short. Just as you are looking forwarded to the tits ass crazy last battle between the Olympians and the titans the game ends. Literally right before that point you get to watch the titans climbing up mount Olympus to get back at the god for the torment they have suffered since the last war and then it ends. This is the part where you have to listen to some smart ass dick head tell you that its because they are deliberately setting up for a sequel. Gee thanks shit breath I never caught on to that technique when I was fifteen and watched a lot of shitty horror movies.
