The Wii is a flaming piece of crap. I wanted to save such a harsh judgment until I played the system… well I played it and you can guess at how awesome it was.
The other two big systems are pulling out all the stops with shit your face graphics and computing speeds and a bunch of crap I don’t rightly know what it is but I can guess that it is expensive and thus rad. On the other hand if you get sick of worrying about frame rates and geek tech stuff you can always just go with the cheap old WII. I mean fuck you even get to shake the controller.
PS2 took blue ray technology and Xbox 360 is sticking it out with HDDVD but guess what WII chose, neither, no next generation for you because your stuck with shit your pants crapness. Oh guess what you still can’t even watch fucking DVD’s on your shitty Nintendo. It’s like they failed out of console make sense school because they were too busy choosing what shape to make their fucking avatars head.
I will admit though the wii does have one upside and that is you get to laugh at complete idiots because they are too fat and sweaty to hold onto their controllers and end up throwing them through their TV’s, walls and windows. There are even reported incidents of accidental assaults on other family members. Shit anything that lets me punch my goddamn kids in the face can’t be that bad. Aren’t you glad you listened to those two Japanese assholes in the commercials and told yourself that you too want to wii.
Pretty much the only actual selling point for a wii is the price. Instead of paying $500 or $700 for the other systems you can get away with just under $250 for the base system. Guess what I’ll sell you some dog shit for even cheaper. Gimme five bucks and I’ll let you come to my house and you can hold the poop in your hand and waggle your arm around like a dickhead and then your stupid parents can joke to each other how at least you are getting SOME exercise however minimal it might be.
And another thing: I play my video games because I am lazy. I don’t want to try and fucking mimic action. I don’t want to actually have to move. I want to sit on my couch for six hours and ignore everyone around me and disappear to awesome video game land where I get to collect delicious prizes and become mister joe fucking cool. I didn’t want to work my limbs with the other failed ninetendo peripherals. The power glove, action pad and even that fucking activator ring where you had to kick three times to jump failed because I didn’t want to move. If I wanted exercise I would leave my house and get buffed and tan. But I don’t, I want to sit in my house and not move so I can be a florescent white cave troll.
