Holy shit everyone its time to panic definitely.
According to "www.worldslastchance.com" we are all right fucked. Like proper fucked. Aparently the scoured the bible and found some proof that "the next and last pope will be a devil impersonating John Paul II." I don't know about any of you out there but as soon as someong comes back from the dead (regardless of if they are the devil in disguise or not) i would venture to say i would not put that person in charge of the as the pope. Or does he get it by default because he was already the pope. Hmm we should probably find a ruling on this. Lets go upstairs to instant replay booth. Is a Zombie Pope still the pope. If he does come back from the dead does he wait till the current pope is done. Or does he sort of kinda deja-vu unsurp Benedict XVI. Please any catholics out there I have some serious questions about the finer points of this faith chain of comand.... But I digress.
I havent really figured out which of the thousands of bible version they scoured but you can read their article at "http://www.worldslastchance.com/next_and_last_pope.php" They even have links to other articles and videos that can help you get a better understanding of the WLC message. I will just throw caution to the wind and accept their word that it is some established version from the many variants out there. Side question here is there a comittee who decides when there is need for a new bible or does that just kinda happen when someone is overly keen to take on more than 1397 page gigantus. As a further side note http://bible.com/ has 66 versions of the bible you can browse through... Yeah 66 thats got to be a mistake maybe I counted wrong wierd that they would have that number coincidently. If your browsing the bible though I recomend using "http://www.biblegateway.com/" its a lot more user friendly and their search works better and please with a 107 versions of the bible it dwafs that dog balls bible.com with sheer readability thats like 41 more versions for the same price.
Any ways back to the matter at hand how did this group of valiant and freedom fighting men and women come to know the prophecy of this dispicable devil impersonation. "World's Last Chance dares to declare this interpretation to the world because we adhere only to sound Biblical interpretation. This means we unlock Bible prophecy by using the Bible as its own interpreter. By doing so we are certain of the correctness of the revelation. " Well hot damn why didn't anyone else think of that actually using the bible to interperate itself that makes complete sense and doesn't sound like faulty logic at all. Code breakers should take head I mean if you can interperate something with itself well sorry but your all going to be out of a job damn soon if this gets out.
The article explains a list of extrapolated reasons of why the catholic church is actually the beast... Holy shity eh. Aparently this is seventh day aventist anti catholic propaganda. Aparently church isn't on saturday anymor and they are pissed. Well what it is doesn't matter this shit is rad. I love this crazy stuff total entertainment value is huge.
Oh I might as well just post the part of the bible they use for their "interpretation by using itself". Revelation 17 1-18. Well lets see I want to try to use this interpretation by self method.
"And there came one of the seven angels... saying unto me, Come hither; I will show unto thee the judgment of the great whore that sitteth upon many waters: (does it matter which one of the seven is talking or is that pretty much interchangable. How does one sit on water exactly?) 2 With whom the kings of the earth have committed fornication, (are there even still kings or is one of those parts where i am supposed to just extrapolate that they actually meant ruler of any kind. Didn't a bunch of people sleep with cleopatra what if the end of the world already happened and we missed it shit thats worse than missing an episode of heroes now I wont know where the characters are. Oh and fonrication sweet.) and the inhabitants of the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her fornication. (Woah Woah Woah there handing out fornication wine this end of the world party got a little better unless by fornication wine you actually mean bible rohipnol in which case i am thoroughly disgusted.) 3 So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: (what angels have sexes hmm i missed that) and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet-coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, (what exactly does the beast was full of names of blasphemy mean. this interpretation is way harder than i thought.) having seven heads and ten horns. (how does this horn break down work. IS there like 3 heads with two horns and 4 heads with one horn or does like one big head have 10 horns and the rest none? I mean he saw the beast couldn't he at least tell us where the horns go its kind of not very considerate on his part.) 4 And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication: (is this that bible rogipnol again now it just sounds gross. full of abominations and filthiness i totally don't want any now. I'll pass just divy my fonrnication wine amongst the others) 5 And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH. (Thats a pretty wide forehead if you ask me. To fit all that unless it was written really small and the narrator was very close. The designer in me is wondering what font would work best on a forehead. Maybe impact or helvetica.) 6 And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, (where did she get this blood or is this another one of those thinly veiled vague metaphors that we can really interperate as pretty much anything we want) and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration. 7 And the angel said unto me, Wherefore didst thou marvel? I will tell thee the mystery of the woman, and of the beast that carrieth her, which hath the seven heads and ten horns. (oh yes please explain the mystery because i am fucking lost) 8 The beast that thou sawest was, and is not; and shall ascend out of the bottomless pit, and go into perdition: (hmm which could be hell but directly translated means loss and is sometimes led to mean the loss of the soul.) and they that dwell on the earth shall wonder, whose names were not written in the book of life (I have to admit that i am a little embarassed. Mybe i havent researched enough but i've never heard of this book of life. Oh wait is that the rapture list. well IF kurt camerons not coming i am not going.) from the foundation of the world, when they behold the beast that was, and is not, and yet is. (ok i don't want to be a wet blanket but isn't this sort of a paradox of reason. I would open this to interperation as back from the dead which is awesome because more zombies equals more fun.) 9 And here is the mind which hath wisdom. The seven heads are seven mountains, on which the woman sitteth. (woah woah i thought she was sitting on water or is this that new delicious mountain water) 10 And there are seven kings: five are fallen, and one is, and the other is not yet come; (he should use some of that fornication whine.) and when he cometh, he must continue a short space. 11 And the beast that was, and is not, even he is the eighth, and is of the seven, and goeth into perdition. (uhhh hes the eighth of seven come on its like hes not even trying to make sense anymore) 12 And the ten horns which thou sawest are ten kings, (what about the 8members of the last seven kings.) which have received no kingdom as yet; (Then how are they kings) but receive power as kings one hour with the beast. (so you need to be a king to get an hour with the beast...) 13 These have one mind, and shall give their power and strength unto the beast. 14 These shall make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them: for he is Lord of lords, and King of kings: and they that are with him are called, and chosen, and faithful. (are these the people who got accepted for the rapture?) 15 And he saith unto me, The waters which thou sawest, where the whore sitteth, are peoples, and multitudes, and nations, and tongues. 16 And the ten horns which thou sawest upon the beast, these shall hate the whore, and shall make her desolate and naked, and shall eat her flesh, and burn her with fire. (aren't these the horns that are on the beast that she is riding) 17 For God hath put in their hearts to fulfil his will, and to agree, and give their kingdom unto the beast, until the words of God shall be fulfilled. (isn't the beast bad?) 18 And the woman which thou sawest is that great city, which reigneth over the kings of the earth." Revelation 17:1-18.
That was quite the excersize in literacy. If you read the article formentioned (http://www.worldslastchance.com/next_and_last_pope.php) they kinda went a different way than i did. Thats the most amazing thing though, everyone has the right to interperate the vague metaphors of bible to uphold their personal thoughts and beliefs. I however and choosing these to be interperatated as actual horned beasts and dragons and such. Instead of trying to pin point who these 8 members of the seven are its just a dragon ridden by a zombie holding sex drink which i say is awesome.
Labels: commentary, Internet, religion, Zombie Pope
