I'm fat. I was fat before Christmas and now it's even worse. I have been contemplating ways to get back into some resemblance of a person that is "in shape" for a while. It's abundantly clear that I can no longer ignore the fact that I am overweight. I constantly feel bloated and have a less than awesome amount of energy. I was an inch within starting a jog routine. Then i realized it was the middle of winter and running in what we have seen so far--being either slush or -20 weather--pretty much looses to being fat every time. With all this in mind it would seem almost a movie plot coincidence when my co-worker Quinn asked if I wanted to join an impromptu office biggest looser competition.
"Sign me up! I got this thing won. You skinny girls are full on crazy if you think you got anything on this". I said rubbing my pushed out belly. "There's forty pounds here. Forty pounds of victory! And he's laughing in your faces because you think your tiny tiny Christmas girl roll can beat us".
"Uh... suuure Dale." Quinn says as she looks at me sideways while I am still relishing in the idea of my undeniable victory and starts to explain "The idea is we go to "Cardeo-Core Bootcamp" and whoever looses more wins."
WHAT! Slacker fat guy alarm sounds in my head. Two words (well three but the middle one doesn't really frighten me) which both hold a world of hurt on their own right but together? How is this much misery possible.
"Oh yeah that should be a really good workout I'm in" Did I just say that out loud? I am horrified why would I just non nonchalantly agree to this? What would make me think I could even pretend I was ready for this? What if I puke? Forever among the office I'll be 'the guy who puked'. Me in my cubicle shrouded in my vomit shame. All alone, no one will love me. How could anyone love me I'm the guy that puked? I can't live with that--But as I mentioned before I needed to do something and this was a wonderful opportunity. Maybe a giant boot in the old posterior with a drill sergeant screaming at me to go harder and faster would do me good. Also I can finally say good bye to Freddy. I named my belly. Why not? He has to be pushing baby weight.
I pre-registered on the web-site “www.corebootcamp.com” for the five day a week session. The whole process was completely easy. After signing up I recieved an email that directed me to go to a measuring and info session.
Flash forward to the day before Cardeo-Core Bootcamp. Don't worry all we skipped past was me whining and fretting about the ass kicking I am going to put myself through. I am getting my measurements taken at the Tournament Capital Centre, which by the by is actually pretty nice and most likely worth whatever giant number of dollar bills it ended up costing. I Sit down with Brandy one of the instructors in charge the classes. I ask her my concerns and she immediately assures me I have nothing to fear and the name sounds tougher than the actual class. They don't want to hurt anyone and if you can't handle the activity you can always do a lighter variant that is easier because the number one goal is self improvement. That said they are still going to push you because they are going to make sure you get a workout. Turns out I can look forward to some very sore legs, arms and buttocks. But its the good sore and not the bad sore.
It's Day one of our four week course. Today I meet Tammie and get to find out what this whole thing is really about. And It's official I am out of shape. Through the mixture of interval training and resistance training I am enlightened as to exactly which of my body parts I have been ignoring for too long. It took me about two and a half minutes to get winded and it was all downhill from there. The mixture of squats jogging and palates ball work proves there is no question that I am in fact in bootcamp. My quads are burning I feel nauseous and if I had a bucket I could make a good attempt at filling it with all this sweat . At the end of the class I know I am going to be sore. I will actually most likely be sore for the whole month I am in this class but its ok because overall I feel great. After all I never puked hilariously though someone else did but it wasn't me first personal goal check.
