Dale Fact - Although I don't necessarily believe them, I am obsessed with conspiracy theories.

The end is neigh... Again

We've all heard the literally Earth shattering news, on December 21 2012, the earth will end--or change--or something super ultimate crazy bad will happen. It's so inevitable that the world is going to end that they made a movie about it. If you don't personally know John Cusack to save you fear not, theres an app to help you along the way.

The company "Developer For Lease: Mobile Developement Solutions" does not want you to go into whatever 2012 has planned for you without some handy information. Stocked with videos, survival tips, theories on the method of our extinction and even alerts on extreme weather disasters around the globe. This app really is a handy little hub of survivor hysteria. I say this knowing first hand it can whip up the fear in even the most fervent naysayers.

My favorite aspect of The End of the World app is the theories section. I like it because I only have the loosest grasp of what is actually supposed to happen and why. We all know that the world is supposed to end in 2012. We know it has to do with the Mayan calendar or something or other. But did you know there might be planet traveling in between earth and the sun. For that matter the Suns polarities are supposedly going to switch. If you didn't know about these you can read up on all the different sources that prophesize the end. There's the aforementioned Mayans, the Bible code and even the great Nostradamus himself. It's a calming relief knowing you can finally figure out what 2012 is all about without having to ask strangers in the street and be subjected to half witted conspiracy theories based on heresy and no research--You get to do your own research.

Ok all the hysteria aside the app is technically sound and I have yet to have it crash on my I-phone. The menus are easily navigated into but backing up is a bit of a pain as you have to backtrack instead of just having a nice easy main menu button. The menus are sleek and look well designed with an explosion/fire theme. One major hindrance to this app is it seems the alerts haven't been updated since May.

If your still not sold on the $1.99 price tag for this app because you don't believe the world will end there are also handy tips on how to survive any major natural disaster even if it is not associated with 2012.

There was a girl on plenty of fish who had this on her profile

IF U HAD ME ALONE... L0CKED UP
IN Y0UR R00M F0R TWENTY-F0UR H0URS
& WE COULD DO WHATEVER YOU WANTED
WHAT W0ULD Y0U D0 WITH ME? TELL ME IN
A MESSAGE... CUZ ITS A SECRET... THEN
REPOST THIS IN YOUR PROFILE... YOU MIGHT
BE SUPRISED WITH THE RESPONSES YOU WILL GET!!!

How could I ever deny a person a simple request such as this so here is my response.

First I would make you dress up in lederhosen like the barmaids at an octoberfest. You would pour over sized mugs of bear all over my naked body while i'm sitting in a kiddy pool eating hot dogs and wearing aviators and a leather thong. Whilst this is happening you yodel for me mountain hiking songs.

After the kiddy pool was full we would switch and you would swim in the kiddy pool of beer and half chewed hotdog bits while I play the according which would be extra terrible because I have no idea how to play. You wouldn't be eating hot dogs though you instead get nachos and your not allowed to use your hands. there's extra sour cream and guacamole.

After you have had your fill of nachos we would have to clean up I would get the garden hose (which I ran through the window in my pre-planing stage) Then we would listen to 80's power pop songs while we hosed each other off and we would be practicing our non contact karate. Doing high kicks mostly.

After were complete cleaned and high kicked out we would pull out the cardboard and put on some big comfy sweats and do some breakdancing (which I also don't know how to do)

The breakdancing would break down into a hot game of twister where we would listen to super cheesy german techno. We would start a tickle fight in the middle of twister as a means to sabotage the others twister skillz.

after that we would make a fort made of pillows and well more pillows and some sheets. Then we would whip each others naked asses with fruit by the foot. But not to hard no body likes fruit by the foot welts.

After that we would collapse the big fort into a pile of big blankets and pillows and make a nest and sleep in it. I would be the small spoon and you could whisper the secrets of the universe in my ear and theoretical space travel methods. As we slipped off to dream land we would dream of robots and unicorns.

In the morning you would be released and if you tried to tell the police what happened they would not believe you and I wouldn't go to jail.